In this post I would like to provide my very own insights on why social networks are steadily dehumanizing us and why it would be better to stop using them.
The plague of social networks
In the past decade, social networks have increasingly become embedded into our lives. They are the first thing we check in the morning and the last at night. The promises of connection, inspiration and entertainment are nothing more than shiny marketing, because they are in fact stripping away what makes us human.
A fake world becomes reality
If you are a child or a teenager today, social media is more of a window on the world than the world itself. But it isn’t a “world” you see - it is a funhouse mirror. You see nothing but flawless selfies, designer vacations and perfect relationships. Influencers carefully curate and enhance every photo. Even your friends do it, showing only the best parts of their lives.
This filtered, clearly exaggerated world slowly starts to feel normal and expected. If you don’t match this fake reality, it feels like you are failing.
You seek only external validation. The question is no longer “Am I happy?”, but rather “Do they think I’m happy?”. Your personality is cancelled.
Dopamine addiction
Social network apps are designed specifically to be addictive. Every like, share or funny video gives you a little dopamine burst. Your brain’s chemical balance is altered - you are trained to keep scrolling, keep checking and keep chasing the next tiny high.
Dopamine is the key component of your reward system. If you constantly get rewarded for doing nothing but staring at a screen, you become lazy and numb to real stimuli. Your attention span drastically decreases - apathy turns into your mantra.
This has negative effects on the quality of your life. You start procrastinating. You detach yourself from reality and begin underestimating the amount of work that awaits you. The concepts of responsibility and accountability no longer concern you.
Perfect expectations result in real disappointments
Worse still, the fake idea of a perfect world doesn’t stay on your screen. It seeps into real relationships.
You start expecting your partner or friends to be “perfect” in the same way people show themselves online. Always fun, supportive, romantic, exciting or cool. That is something real people can’t live up to.
Social media is full of viral posts and videos telling you how to spot “red flags” or “5 signs your partner is toxic”. Flattening complex human dynamics into simple, clickbait labels. While some of it is genuinely good advice, most of it is cheap psychology that tries to present normal, fixable conflicts as signs you should leave.
Instead of helping you reason on what it actually means to be a better person (whichever role you may have), social media just gives you the answer. And you buy it without thinking.
That is how a good relationship crumbles under these impossible expectations. Or how a friendship breaks because it doesn’t look like an Instagram reel.
The Art of Peer Pressure
This is the title of a song by Kendrick Lamar, which I recommend.
Peer pressure isn’t some weird flaw in human nature. On the contrary, it is completely normal. We are social creatures, wanting to fit in and be accepted. It is hardwired into us. Social groups are what made us survive for thousands of years.
The problem is that social networks crank this instinct up to unnatural levels. Instead of trying to fit in with a few friends or classmates around you, you are suddenly performing for hundreds of people (sometimes thousands perhaps), who may not even be with you physically. Likes, comments, whether your life is good enough to make them envious - that is all you chase.
If you are already feeling insecure or fragile, this is brutal. You are so desperate to avoid being the odd one out, that you shape your personality to match what you think will get the most praise. You stop asking who you really are or what you really want. Now, with a proper audience.
It feels like peer pressure on steroids, we could say.
Lonely together
This isn’t just a minor annoyance. It is literally changing us.
We live under the illusion of being connected with anyone around us at all times. We would rather initiate a conversation through a text message than talk face to face. It is much easier and feels safer - there’s no need to expose ourselves and show vulnerability. We trade depth for convenience, leaving our relationships shallow.
This lack of real human connection manifests itself in symptoms of anxiety and depression, which further isolate us.
We are losing the ability to pay attention and to have real and deep conversations. We are forgetting how to connect in a real, messy human way.
Just stop using social media
It is time we saw social networks for what they are. They are not real life. They are products designed to keep us hooked and sell our attention at the same time, like a never-ending business cycle. Altering reality to what we want to see, if needed.
We need to reclaim our time, attention and relationships. We need to understand that it is perfectly fine to be imperfect. That we do not have an audience to perform for.
Just one week without social networks really puts you into a different perspective, and I recommend trying it.